The wagon...

          Aunt Bri gave Bricen a birthday present early. We were talking and discussed that she was going to get his gift and probably wouldn't be able to wait to give it to him. I was looking for a wagon for his 12 mo pics and so it was decided. Bricen's birthday started a month early.

In classic Bricen fashion, he had to knock on the box to check it out.

Brianna, Bricen and I put the wagon together. He was a big help. ;0)

We had a few pieces left over. I was stressed about this, my sister was not. Shocker. lol

Bricen and Marty had a lot of fun with the box.

Where's Bricen?

There he is. It's blurry, but you can tell from the smile he was having a blast.  

We cracked up at this. He would go to crawl in the box and hit his head on the top flap. It was hilarious.

He is either thinking my dad is so cool or my dad is so lame.

He likes the wagon itself, too. Akita is afraid this is yet another thing she could get ran over with.

It even has a secret compartment to hide stuff in. ;0)

Can't wait for his birthday parties!!

.....
           I thought I better add a more upbeat post. Haha. As mentioned before, we've been practicing with different foods trying to see if we will be having cake for Bricen's birthday parties or something else. If nothing else, it was comical.

The plan was to take something cake like, banana flavored and make it soggy with something like his banana shake or formula. Not much success yet. We've also played around with puddings (thinned with formula, adds calories and the thinner texture helps keep him from gagging.) We recently got permission to try ice cream, make pancakes with the vegetable baby food and then make them soggy with gravies. We've yet to do that but are excited to try. He's also tried oreos and seemed to enjoy it for about two seconds. Strangely enough, lemon meringue pie pudding was a hit. We searched for high calorie, banana flavor pudding. It's a hit. Banana shakes from Steak n Shake are also a hit. The thing about Bricen is that even though we might find something he likes, his interest is limited.  We are still doing three day trials with less tube feeds and attempt to get more oral feeds in. He gets about five ounces of a shake down a day. Until he gets more down we will keep it at three days. Two small achievements that I've noticed the last couple days. We've been "brushing" his tooth. This entails a rubber finger that slips over my finger. He actually lets me get his finger pretty far in without gagging. He also had a little bit of a sucker the other night. I was impressed with how far he put it in his mouth. We are making some progress.

Cheese puffs are still a part of Bricen's diet.

Already tearing up the house. With this face, who can be mad?

This day he noticed he has hair.

I guess, Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is enjoyed better when watched up close and personal.

He's been wearing his shoes in prep for his 12 mo pics :0)

Of course, a picture of Bricen sleeping. I can't resist. The red mark on the forehead is because he had fallen asleep and his head was resting on his tray at first. Here is my confession. I locked my son in the car and we had to call the police to get him out. No spare key. He was happy as can be. I was a hot mess fighting tears. Haha.

Love this face.

Naked Baby! He'd just assume be naked than anything.

We went to Wal Mart last week. It was a big trip with a big list and just me and Bricen. He was so well behaved and quite the ham. He started playing "peek a boo". This was the first time he had done this. I looked down and he is sitting in the cart holding his comfort rag up to his forehead and looking up at me from under the rag. The same trip he was allll about giving me lots of wet kisses. I love those wet kisses.

        

Disclaimer...
          this is a feel sorry for myself post. Probably not going to be a sunshine and rainbows post. As always, I am well aware of our blessings and that life could be so much harder. Here is my vent. And excuse the grammar. venting = rambling = bad typing and grammar.  I am just so frustrated with Bricen's eating. I'm not sure who to even be frustrated with. It's definitely not him, poor guy. I am afraid to be frustrated with God, and I know he is ultimately responsible for our blessings so that leaves me frustrated, ticked and sick to death of several things with no one to blame. I'm sick and tired of fighting for every calorie, ounce, etc. I'm sick of being on edge and saying a prayer everytime I start a tube feed, praying that he keeps it down. Sick of people commenting on how little he is and asking how old he is. One lady said she could tell he was older by the way he acted but he was just so little she didn't know. I know that's a good thing. So so thankful cognitively he is on track. I'm sick of stressing and being on edge that a Dr appt is coming up and will his wt gain be enough. I'm tired of buying 6-9mo clothes for my almost 12 mo old son. Sick of being scared to try new things, afraid it will make things worse instead of better and he will lose weight in the process. I'm sick to death of having to wake this poor baby up to feed him (yes there is a tube feed, but usually he wakes up with at a minimum, a little spit up. I'm sick of not sleeping. Sick of not sleeping in my bed, with my husband, sick of sleeping on the couch because we do feeds so late and its not fair to the person working the next day to be up til 3-4 am. He is almost  a year old. He is such a good sleeper. I think if it wasn't for eating he'd sleep all night. I'm sick of trying new feeds and feeding schedules for our three day trials. I guess because I'm afraid with each one he won't do well. I'm sick to death of the puking. It's not every feed thank God but the possibility of it being every feed is there. We fight to keep him happy, not hurt (which can be a challenge since he is a dare devil these days) because if he cries with a full belly that gag reflex will send all those calories back up. Sick of trying to keep him somewhat still for an hr feed and or following him around with the pole and pump and trying to keep the cord from getting tangled and caught.  Last night he was having a hard time going to sleep. He was sleepy but fighting sleep. In my head I thought if he was a "normal" baby that I could count on not throwing up and possibly ending up with aspiration pneumonia, I'd lay him down and see if he cried himself to sleep. So then I started thinking, I guess I'll have to try to start timing bedtime out so his belly is empty.
          And here is the thing. I can't even wright this stuff and have these feelings without feeling guilty. I love my God and I am so very thankful for our blessings. I'm just having a weak day. You will all probably think I'm part devil but I'm even sick of hearing about these super chunky babies. Is that horrible or what? I don't want all babies in the world to have eating problems. I just prefer not hear about the super chunky ones right now. We have 12mo pics today. While I don't know if I'd do it but I'd like the opportunity to have a "cake smash" session. He could smash the cake, but will gag if any gets in his little mouth. I've been playing with different things, trying to come up with something different than cake to have for his birthday. By playing with things I mean, oreos, ice cream, pudding, anything I can stick a candle in and he won't gag on for his birthday parties. I'm sick of stressing because someone (Marty and I have both been guilty) slept through the last feed of the night. If it happens on a feeding trial day will he get dehydrated, etc. Those days the numbers are crunched and the plan allows for him to get just enough calories/mls to keep him maintained and hydrated while getting him hungry enough so hopefully he takes more in by mouth. I'm sick of work having this mandatory crap (okay, in reality probably very justifiable mandatory crap) that has to be done m-f that I have to stress over how I'm going to get it done. I finally got my hair done. I looked like a classic character on (insert any trash show of  your choice here) with two different, three different color hair. I'm ashamed to admit that earlier in the week he had a bad spit up and I literally looked up at the ceiling and asked seriously God? Who does that? who gets a little miracle baby and then shows frustration with an all mighty God? Apparently this girl does. Lucky for me, he is a forgiving God that knows my true heart is a thankful heart well aware of her blessings. ugh...
          So, what do we do? Speech Therapy asked me the other day if she needed to get out the papers from our first visit so we can see how far we've come. I told her I just wanted to make sure I was doing everything I needed to do in order to help Bricen. She then asked if I needed to confess anything. As abrupt (some might say rude) as she is, that's just her personality. For some reason, I like her. lol Of course I did not have anything to confess but isn't that what any descent mom would do?
          p.s. my alarm on my phone just went off. I hate the sound. Not because it's an alarm but because it's the alarm I woke up to when I was staying at the Ronald McDonald house (Ron's house). It brings back icky feelings and helps remind me how far we've come. still frustrated. lol So, back to what do we do? I guess we keep on keeping on. Haha Try to focus on how far we've come. It's not been easy. I am proud of our process and really it's Bricen's achievements. I am proud that so far we haven't had any hospital stays for pneumonias, etc. I think part of that is the fact that Marty and I watch this baby like a hawk. Our whole lives are centered on his feedings and keeping them down and (more so in the beginning) getting him sat up or on his side if he started to throw up. As it should be. I'd walk through fire for this baby, so what's a little frustration? Nothing. I'm officially putting my big girl panties on (no comments from the skinny chicks in the world, please) and moving on.
          We've got lots of exciting times coming up. Birthday parties (Bricen's two parties and he has a couple cousins with birthdays coming up), Halloween, 12 mo pics today (Daddy is supppper excited about these, he just can't contain himself), then before we know it it'll be Thanksgiving and Christmas!!! As mentioned above, we've been trying to prep for birthday cake. If nothing else, he looked adorable and it was hilarious at times. We will post pics later. And Aunt Bri gave him a birthday gift early. We have plenty of pics of that as well. Big things happening for the little guy. ;0)
          p.s.s. (am I the queen of these ( ) or what?)

Juanita and Brent's Birthday...
          We celebrated Juanita and Brent's birthday at Crystal's. It was the start of our colds so we didn't stay long but we enjoyed being there. (except, Bricen did not enjoy getting this picture taken. haha)

 

I can't believe how big all these boys are getting...and one thing comes to mind when I look at this picture....we need a girl! Let's hope Kim can help us out with that!

I have to take a moment and brag on these Reed boys. When it comes to playing or entertaining kids, they are some of the best. I think it's cause they are not afraid to still act like kids themselves. :0)

I didn't get a good picture of it, but Bricen was all about Christopher and his braces. It was pretty funny.

         

A cold for all and preparing for a major event!
          I almost forgot, we have a tooth! All in a week he popped a tooth, began to crawl and got a cold that he passed on to me and then Marty got it. It was a rough time.

 This is a new position that came about with the cold. So stinkin' cute.

I might lose my life for posting this picture. I guess Marty got tired of blowing his nose, so he stuffed toilet paper in it. (Love you, honey!) 

And the swing came in handy during the cold. He really hasn't wanted much to do with he swing. But it allowed me three consecutive hours of sleep this night and I was so thankful. :0)

         

We are all on the mend and preparing for a major event! It's official, the dates and theme has been set. It's a Western Round up for a certain soon to be 1yr old and Sheriff Bricen is in charge! Can't wait!

On the move!

          It's a one legged crawl, but it still counts!

I absolutely love seeing him achieve this little milestones. Nothing else compares. Period. And the crawling has led to other adventures of Bricen. The backdoor is a favorite spot.

And he loves to knock on anything and everything.

He thinks he needs to help with whatever I'm doing. This bowl and spoon provided a lot of entertainment. Boy was this Momma glad!

He is quite the dare devil. Always wants you to let go of him when he's standing up.

This is going to sound stupid but I love love love having a little one at my feet in the kitchen. I will never take it for granted and can't wait for more...but not for awhile.  :)

With that being said, this little guy has heard his middle name and the word "no" many many times since he started crawling! haha And when I point and snap my finger to tell him no he likes to give me what for and point back. That's fine with me as long as he stops going for what he was going for in the first place. I have to work to hide my laugh. He is also imitating (or trying to) his penguin that says whoa ho ho hoa and when Marty says cockadoodledoo (where this came from, idk) he tries to do it too. If you whisper to him, he whispers back. He is at such a fun fun age. We are pretty smitten with him, to say the least.

This little guy has been busy...
          We've been visiting with family and learning to crawl. Dereck and Tiff come visit on Wednesday nights. I think they are preparing for their little one. We love the company and I think Bricen loves the entertainment from Dereck. The first time Dereck started talking like Donald Duck Bricen started crying. Now, I think he enjoys it. He is even glued to the t.v. when Donald Duck is on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is the only cartoon he really cares about and I love Doc Mc Stuffins. :0)

          We also enjoyed a recent visit from Aunt Crystal. I especially enjoyed it. With her work schedule and mine most of her visits happen when I'm at work. Heaven gained another angel. I am a little slow to report but Crystal lost the little peanut she was working on. She has handled it with such grace and strength. I am not surprised. While I'm sure her faith has helped her through I must also add this chick is on the ball in all areas. You know those women that seem to always have a clean house, her kids usually spotless and both are dressed to a "t"? That's her. She never forgets a birthday, is the queen at sending cards, and has her Christmas shopping done by Thanksgiving. I think you get the picture. :0) She is a great Mommy and we are already praying for God to bless them with another peanut when he sees fit. 

Bricen and his Daddy are still busy finding creative ways to play. This dump truck needed cleaned before Bricen could play with it. After some discussion Marty decided it could be done in the dishwasher. And so in the dishwasher it went. Only my husband.

 Brett happen to come by while I was going through some things Jen had brought by. Among other things, this boy is quite funny.

 And Bricen agrees.



        

Visitors!! Yay! ....
          Some AICU girls from past and present came to meet Bricen. It was such an enjoyable afternoon.
Vera and Jeanna arrived first. Once Bricen warmed up he was quite the ham!

Mahota and Jen can a little later. But Jen would not allow any pictures.

 That same week I had mandatory education for work so Marty took a vacation day to spend with Bricen. They had a good time and even went to visit Daddy's work. Of course, we have no pictures of that because that's how Marty rolls, but this is him getting ready to leave. These crocks are super cute and I had been looking for some for awhile but couldn't find any that fit. Anyways, so we got some and he won't keep them on his feet and out of his mouth. I should have seen that coming. :0)