Friday, November 22, 2013

Pulmonary Visit

We had our visit with pulmonary today. I took her the images of Bricen's chest x ray on a disc so she could view them herself. She was shocked that old pediatrician would call that normal. She said she even called another physician over and asked if that looked normal to him. His ear still has puss and his chest "doesn't sound horrible." They put a pulse oximeter on him in office. We did this Tuesday at the new pediatrician's office  too and he was fine. Today, he was in the high 80's. Pulmonary gave him a breathing treatment in the office and checked again, 97%. In ICU we tend to say things like, "That guy's about to buy himself a tube." Bricen bought himself a nebulizer and some steroids. Poor guy. I'm just ready to get my sweet baby back. I'm worried this antibiotic is not going to cut it. Four days of antibiotic and he is having problems w/his oxygen levels and still has puss in his ear. And Thanksgiving is next week. Of course I want everyone healthy for it but at the same time I automatically go to the scenario where no one is in office and this baby is getting worse. Ugh Also, I was thinking Bricen was moaning or groaning because his ear was hurting or he just didn't feel well. No, he was grunting. Like I'm having trouble breathing, grunting. Why did I not realize this? Hated myself the moment it came out of her mouth because I knew she was absolutely right. "One of my concerns is that he is not moaning or groaning but he is actually grunting." Mommy head vs. nurse head. They don't mingle sometimes. So there I was in yet another Dr.'s office getting all teary eyed because FINALLY someone was going to reallly help this baby. I had been asking for nebs for a week! 
He gets spurts of energy. He decided to help daddy push the tree back. Ha



Sweet baby is not a fan when he is awake. I am so thankful we have this now!

On another note, got a new tree topper. He's fun, don't ya think? I've yet to name him. Haha I'll be thinking about it. 

Happily Ever After for Brent and Shanyn

Brent, my husbands brother got married. I know I'm prejudice but this little guy looked like a stud muffin!

An all bundled up little stud muffin! The wedding was outdoors. We kept him warm by the fire. But he did get some play time on a nearby playground. 


I loved the decorations.




Maid of Honor and my big stud muffin.

Marty's mom and step dad. I thought this was a sweet picture.

And I chose to put this picture in because a. it's a good pic of my sister in laws and b. Crystal's belly is showing. She has a bun in the oven! Isn't she cute!?

So my husband knew he was best man but the fact that he'd need to  make a speech slipped his mind. So the night before he was reminded of this and he was stressing over it. It was kind of cute. He's a shy boy. :0) I first suggested he have Shane Palmer do it and then, ;ike most wives, I was giving him my two cents and giving him ideas and finally said "You want me to do it?" I was only kidding but he was thinking about it for a second! Haha I ended up telling him to keep it short and sweet. And he did and he did a fine job. He told them to never go to bed angry and to put God first. He had heard this before. :0) But because of all this jazz it had me thinking about a "best man speech." So here goes. 
I do not know Brent like Marty knows Brent and the both of us don't know Shanyn all that well.  But I like to think I know my husband, at least a little. :0) I can tell you that I have heard more than once, "That's my little brother." Four words. He's used them in a tone that showed he was concerned about Brent. He has used them to convey the message that in the bad or tough times he was going to be there for Brent because that's his little brother. I've also heard the same words spoken when Marty is sharing or reflecting on the good times with Brent. This is why I know Marty, even though he's a shy boy that mumbles and grumbled about it, was honored to be Brent's best man. I also know they've done their fair share of brotherly fighting and I for one am glad they lost those stupid boxing gloves they use to go out in the yard to try out. 
And what do I know about Shanyn? First it was Marty saying things like "I guess Brent's got him a new girl." And I'm sure I said something like "Oh, yea?" And that's about as far as that conversation went. Haha Then I can remember Marty saying something like "Mom says Brent's getting pretty serious with that girl." I of course started asking, "What's her name? Where she go to school at?" And of course my husband followed up with "Idk. I don't ask all that stuff. She's got a kid. I guess he gets along with Mason real well." I should confess I might be a closet Facebook stalker. So, I of course, went to Facebook to check out Brent's new girl. :0) Don't judge. I think we've all done it a time or two. This is what I can tell from her Facebook. #1. She is a good Mom. #2. She has a tight knit immediate family. She has a sister, grandma and mom that loves and encourages her. I can also tell from the Facebook stalking that her family has welcomed and accepted Brent as a part of their family already. That in itself is priceless. I will add that even though we haven't hung out, the short times I've been around them, my Facebook conclusions have seemed accurate. :0) 
If I wanted to use something corney about Brent and Shanyn such as fitting together like pieces of a puzzle..Well I guess I kind of am already. So yes, they do seem to be that couple that just fit together. Rounding out one section of Shanyn's puzzle piece is Tanner. Not only is the affection and love Brent has for Shanyn obvious, it's also obvious that he has a similar love for Tanner already. Brent and Marty lost their dad at a young age and I'm going to venture to say they are both aware of the importance the role of "step-dad" can play in a child's life. I'm not surprised that Tanner seems to help these two fit together perfectly because every good mom makes sure of that before marrying (I think I already mentioned Facebook told me Shanyn is a good Mama.) and Brent already knows the impact a good step dad can have on a little guys life. (And if he's anything like Bricen's dad, Tanner is one lucky kid.) 
Aaaand I will second Marty. If you don't know God individually, get to know him and then let him have his place in your relationship. 

So here is to Brent and Shanyn (and Tanner's) happily ever after! 

You Suck



Man oh man, it's been a tough twelve days. We seem to be on the mend. It started with Brent and Shanyn's wedding. That was not tough, we will get to it in the next post. Then the Sunday after Bricen started showing signs that he wasn't feeling well. I already had a scratchy throat the day of their wedding. It all went down hill from there. 

Before I go further, this is my sister. I had went to the grocery, armed with my list of foods Bricen can not have and the words that don't come out and say wheat, milk and eggs but, are really wheat, milk and eggs. I knew I'd be there longer but had no idea I'd be there 29 hours. Anyways, about thirty minutes in I was fighting tears. Is gluten the same as wheat free? Is lactose free milk free? flustered. Yes, lots of kids have allergies. It's not the end of the world. I was just worked up. I needed to find food for the gosh for saken feeding trial to start the next day and I was getting frustrated and overwhelmed. Literally, fighting tears in the dairy section. A few might have actually fallen. I quickly sucked it up. Mostly because if a woman crying in the dairy section of the grocery doesn't say cray cray, idk what does. Anyways, my sister joined me. I tried to play it cool, but I was sure glad to see her. :0) I am thankful that we know about the allergies, just wish we had went to an allergist at our big children's hospital. Feel like they would have been more informative and helpful. Not, yea he is allergic to milk eggs and wheat. See you in a month. Maybe the allergies are adding to his oral aversion in a way. And I literally prayed while we were waiting for that Dr. for God to guide him, lead him to whatever testing may or may not need done in order to help Bricen. Now we know, maybe we can get him healthy and make big strides. p.s. the fruit my sister is holding is called Buddhas hand. She was so curious about it she had to Google it right then.

This is what I've learned about  myself. I can not buy Christmas gifts early! Never Ever again!


What was I suppose to do? The pumpkin was sick and he worked so hard getting it down the hall! 

Aunt Karen came to visit. She left to get us some pedialyte and came back with a surprise for this big boy! Her little visit helped keep my sane. I'm sure of it. He is very into sitting at the table in the big chair these days. He gives captain safety (Daddy) nine heart attacks each time he climbs up it. And even when he is sick he is saying "thank you" to everything! He will pick something up off the ground and hand it to me to throw away and say "thank you". So sweet. 

So this started Sunday night for Bricen. I had him at the pediatrician Thursday and then Friday again. Yes, I was that mom and I did not care. He was coughing his head off. Pulmonary had already said he might need some breathing treatments to get through these winter colds. Each time I got the "his ears and chest are clear" and was sent on our way. By Sunday my baby was miserable. Sleeping, weak, you could tell it literally pained him to cough. It was pathetic. Moaning and whimpering. So back we went to the Sunday clinic. Same thing. And at that point I was officially done with that physician and his partner. Same office that kept dragging their feet on C diff testing in February and made my baby suffer for a month until they finally tested for it. 
I called the pharmacy Sunday night to ask for OTC suggestion for the cough and they guy says in so many words, "yea, I'm gonna refer you to the physician. I can hear him coughing in the background and sounds like he might benefit from some breathing treatments or steroids." Yep, sure does, sure does. We were trying the vicks on his feet with socks, his chest, honey, etc etc. We spent a lot of time in a steamed up bathroom and then a few times let the cool air from outside hit him in order to get him out of a coughing fit. He was miserable. Few times I was turning on extra lights to see just what color his lips were. Let me be clear. I know babies can not do cough suppressant. But if he is having bronchospasms you (doctor) can help him. 
I myself went to the minute clinic on Sunday and left with four scripts, one of which was an inhaler. I felt guilty using the meds because my poor baby was so miserable and I could not get anyone to give him anything. Ugh! 
Monday I called said office again. Idk what those ladies are doing that I can't see but at least his office staff is always nice. I'm gonna guess I've gotten an eye roll or two. hahaha. They ordered a chest x ray. I had listened to his lungs several times. Thought I heard some fine crackles a couple times. Hard to tell. I'm use to adults that sit still and stay quiet while I listen. I'm use to ordering a stat chest x ray per protocol if need be. Got a call that the x ray was "normal". 
I called our insurance and changed his PCP and then made an appointment for Tuesday with a new pediatrician. 

And here we are. I will add that of course, he got a second wind once we got there. I was thinking this kid is going to make a liar out of me. Haha It was short lived though. :o( Anyways. I'm telling new pediatrician that prev Dr. called and said chest x ray was normal. She stopped me and said no it wasn't. She showed me the dictation pulled up the images for me to see. Was it horrible? no. But it was not normal. (Insert any derogatory names you want to call the old pediatrician here, because I'm sure they all went through my head at this time.) And his ears? "Full of puss." "Oh yeah, that thing is just covered." (Again, in my head bleep bleep bleh bleep bleep bleep) It's enough to make me lose my baptist hat. His cough was easing up but she assured me she would hook us up w/nebs if we need em in the future. And we left with an antibiotic. 
Few friends suggested I call the previous Dr. back and inform them of a few things. I just wanted and want to be done with them. Done. And really, what would that do? Nothing. I will say, when I went in to request records be transferred, I was tempted to put "you suck" in the space asking why we are asking records be transferred. I didn't.


He is still not back to himself. He still has times that he will just whimper and moan. But it's getting better. And my oh my was he a mama's boy during all this! I know he is feeling better because he is letting Daddy do some of the holding. See Marty's hat pulled up? We froze him out. If Bricen or I got hot we'd cough more so poor daddy froze to death. Haha

After we got the script, later that night his button started leaking. I mean, for the love....We've never had a problem with leaking. And I'm not talking about a little drainage around the site, I mean his shirt and my shirt would be soaked. I was concerned he was missing entire feeds. And  how would I get his antibiotic or Tylenol down him? I was stressing! I called Riley and talked to the GTube nurse. We changed out his button just to try to trouble shoot what we could. I had already checked the balloon on the old one and it seemed fine but I was at a loss. It is better, thank Jesus but we still have random times he will have a big leak. All I can figure out is that he lost a couple lbs. during all this. Maybe it was just looser? Anyways, I thought some might be interested to see the button. The balloon on the bottom is in his belly. The part at the top of the stem sticks out. Thank god for modern medicine. 
We have an appointment with Pulmonary Friday. I had called them on Monday as well. I was determined to get somebody to help this baby. We were suppose to be released unless we needed them. Got a copy of the images of the chest xray for them to see. Hopefully we can just check in and they won't go crazy thinking we need anything else done. 
It's a good thing I don't get really sick very often because my husband will vouch. I heard more than once "You're a meanie when your sick." Haha. I went back to the Dr. today for my wellness check for insurance at work.. Day 5 on my antibiotic and my lungs still sound junky. I pray Bricen can fully kick this and quickly! 

Thursday, November 14, 2013

So it's about 4am. Idk why but my post timing is always off. I can't sleep. I can add some humor and say if this "germ" so to say was standing in front of me right now I'd punch it in the special parts. That in itself is funny because I don't think I've punched anyone or anything in my life. But in all seriousness, I hate being sick and more than that I hate my sweet baby being sick. 
People think I'm crazy or sometimes mean because we are so crazy about keeping germs away. Look at this week. I had wrapped my mind around a no tube trial. Was ready. And now this. And yes, I'm sick too. In fact, I don't remember the last time I've felt this bad. I would not trade being a mom for absolutely anything but I sure do miss the days that I could take NyQuil and sleep or good cough medicine and sleep without being worried I'll sleep through Bricen's needs. Or better yet, what I wouldn't give for some chicken noodle soup and sprite from my mom. Haha love n miss her. Situations like this make me miss her more. She would have been helping however and anyway she could. 
Back to Bricen. Yes, I am sick but I can't imagine being this guy. He's running a fever coughing his head off full of congestion. I know what my throat feels like I cannot imagine what his feels like. I have had warm or cold drinks to help soothe. I have offered him countless drinks of everything and Popsicles and even fruit to suck on but he won't take them. Besides celery. (Ahh my little weirdo. :) he bites little hairs off and hands em to me.) Add that coughing on a raw throat to throwing up. Throwing up sucks! As adults we forget that from time to time. That alone makes your whole chest and throat sore. I just hate it for him. I can use cough drops and blow my nose and take DayQuil. Not much you can do for a 22 lb 2 yr old besides Tylenol And pray he keeps enough feeds in to stay hydrated and not lose the wt we fight so hard for or the progress with feeds we fight so hard for. Vent over. Time to check temp again. Little guy heating up next to me making me hot making me cough. We will make it still countless blessings surrounding us. Just venting. A simple cold would be a dream for some parents w kiddos fighting for their lives. We know this.  Irrational or not I always have that fear in the back of my mind that a simple cold could end up that way  for Bricen.  

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

We are miserable. It's a tad dramatic but I'm going to say it, we are miserable. I can only hope Bricen doesn't feel as bad as I do. Here's the summary. Brent and Shanyn got married, We found out bricen is allergic to milk eggs and wheat. I spent 36 hrs (apparently dramatic is the theme for this post) at the grocery looking for appropriate foods we could use for the no tube feeding trial and now bricen is sick so we can't do it. I hate germs. Thankfully his seems to be more nasal whereas mine seems to be chillin in my chest. Oh Yes, and we are switching formula bc his current has milk in it. Praying this has a positive effect. The end. 

Oh one last thought. Apparently I am a fibber of sorts. I was going back through the blog, looking for the different types of formula we had been on in the past and saw that I had mentioned bricen was on the charts w his wt way back when. So not to long ago when I said for the first time ever he had made the charts for his wt, I was fibbing. Moral of the story, don't believe anything I say. I have no memory, good thing I keep this blog. 

Days of our lives...



I didn't get the camera in time but he was reading to kita. I was one proud mommy!

Caillou and phone, ready to roll out.

Doing some work on his bike.  Yup, they aren't grouped all together the right way. 

Serenading me while I cook dinner 





Destiny and Cole hung out and passed out candy. Thank goodness they were so good at it because it gets old quickly. Ha!


Kayden joined us too. 



And this was Bricen eating some pizza yesterday. 

He was spelling the Alphabet here. Funny thing is when trying to read off letters to me there's a whole lot of "I". It's funny stuff. And that's what I was getting as he was writing with his Popsicle. 



Went bowling with the fam. I had to make fun of Dereck and his sweatshirt being the same size as Bricen's. 



This was today before therapy trying to waist time. 



And we went to watch Brett bowl. Of course, Bricen wanted to bowl after we got home.