Bottom Line

Uh oh, I think this is gonna be a blurry pic. It's how I feel today. Starting our first five day trial. Not even out of bed and I'm anxious (and hopeful and prayerful and excited about it). It was on my mind yesterday at work, before my eyes closed and as soon as my eyes opened this am. Maybe, just maybe Thursday and Friday will be awesome awesome days. Maybe I will be singing that "chug a lug chug a lug" song from my husbands golden hits of country cd or whatever it is and bricen will be drinking and eating like its nobody's business. 

With all that being said. My expectations are low. No big deal. Whatever happens happens and I'm gonna be proud of him no matter how he does. P.S. If you smell something, it's my pants on fire bc Most of that is a lie, except the very last part. 

The Hubbs did do the last feed last night so I got some much needed rest. So I am well rested and ready to face the week. We got this, we can do it. I used this rationale not to long ago w a friend about a different situation. Bottom line, if God wanted this baby not to be tube fed, to eat like a sumo wrestler in training, he would be. Bottom line. Who am I to question God? (Uh, I am only human and certainly do sometimes.) But for whatever reason this is where we are. And as always we have lots to be thankful for. Already feel better. 

See? Sweet baby. I'm gonna remind myself of this as he is throwing temper tantrums bc he is hungry and fussy this week! Haha I think this is where I should say something about him getting that from his dad but I get pretty cranky without food too! ;)

I sometimes look back at the blog and think why did I write that? Or I should really not ramble (like I am now). But I really do feel ready to face the week now. Love those five family members that do read it on the regular. Mostly because it helps me not have to replay everything over and over and update people because sometimes I don't want to talk about it. But also because they care enough about Bricen to stay up to date. Stay in the know. Again, we are blessed. I love how aunt Karen gets excited when there is a blog update. And I love getting the blog printed out. I know because of this blog I will never take Bricen for granted. Each little step of his life, even when he's a healthy smart butt teenage boy and I start to fuss about the grocery bill, I will remember where we are now. When he's crying and fussing and throwing fits this week I will remember that first sound, first little cry after they extubated in NICU. Makes me cry now just thinking about it. Sheesh. I've got to stop letting feeding trials fall on my most emotional week of the month! Lol